Tuesday, January 3, 2012
I Don't Want to See Your Biebs in Public
I was originally going to post a picture of this offensive subject, but I thought better of it. You and your children will thank me later. Deep breath. I'm trying to think of how to word this so it won't offend others. Here we go.
It's Justin Bieber.
Oh dear! I see him all the time, wherever I go. His pouting face, half-hidden under a hoodie, is painted across many t-shirts.
Listen. I understand that you like Justin Bieber and he makes you happy. I know that Justin Bieber is what's best for you. But, do you have to flaunt him in my face with your t-shirts? Not everyone likes Justin Bieber. That doesn't mean we have a problem with him, but he just isn't for us. Personally, I tried Justin Bieber, but I found I couldn't like him. My ears and my brain were unable to enjoy his vocalizations. So, I had to switch back to David Bowie, because that was all I could take. But, it's hard to find David Bowie t-shirts. Don't you think I might feel bad because you're flaunting your Justin Bieber t-shirt in public? That's pretty insensitive of you.
Furthermore, what about when I'm out with my children? We're walking along and BAM! there you are with your Justin Bieber t-shirt flappin' in the breeze. We don't need to see that while we're walking down the aisle in Target buying band-aids or Annie's Bunny Snacks. So what am I supposed to do? How am supposed to explain to my children what Justin Bieber is? Because they see your shirt, I have to have a conversation with my children about Justin Bieber and how some people like him. That's not right. I have a very curious 5 year old and now I'll have to sit down with him and explain Justin Bieber. What's worse, he might go home and ask to listen to Justin Bieber. Even worse, he might tell the other students in his Kindergarten class about the Justin Bieber shirt he saw you wearing in public. Then I'll have to deal with phone calls from his teacher, the principal and angry parents. Please, have some respect for the children. The CHILDREN!
Once again, no one is denying your right to listen to Justin Bieber and to wear a t-shirt with his pouting face on it. It's just that it may not be best to wear that shirt in public. Think of your own safety. There are a lot of 12 and 13 year old girls out there who might look at your shirt and start having fantasies. They may even come up to you and ask you where you bought it. Doesn't that make you uncomfortable? Sick!
And, please, don't wear your Justin Bieber t-shirt in Church. Listen, I completely understand that God created Justin Bieber for a purpose. I get that. But that doesn't mean you can just whip off your jacket and go flashing your Justin Bieber shirt in His sanctuary. Modesty is key.
Maybe you can cover up your Justin Bieber t-shirt. That way you can still wear your shirt, but the rest of the public won't have to see it. That's pretty respectful. In fact, they make lots of really nice cardigans that you can wear over your Justin Bieber t-shirt. Or - get this! - you can get a purple hoodie to wear over your shirt! Justin Bieber LOVES purple hoodies. See? Compromise. If you really feel the need to look at your Justin Bieber then perhaps you can find a dressing room or a restroom stall where you can sit down, open your cardigan (or purple hoodie!)and look at yourself in the mirror. You'll still have your Justin Bieber t-shirt. You just won't be offending the general public. You can also go out to your car and wear your shirt openly in there (as long as your not parked next to my mini-van full of children) and even listen to one of his CDs (windows up, please). Maybe you can just stay home and wear your Justin Bieber shirt there. No need to cover up in your own home and you'll probably be more comfortable there because you can wear your Justin Bieber pajama bottoms, too.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. I hope you know that I don't mean any harm towards Justin Bieber t-shirts. I just don't want to see them in public.