Confession: I Hate "Back to School"

Oh, the ugly cry.

I admit it. I'm one of the seemingly rare parents who does not rejoice wildly at the idea of her child going back to school. From the myriad of posts that come up in my news feed, I appear to be in a minority. Most people say, "Oh, I'll miss the kids, but I will love having some extra me time." There are a few who count down the days from the moment the Summer break begins. I always thought I wanted to homeschool. It was my plan since before my son was born. However, after a lot of back and forth and tons of consideration, we decided it was not the best for my son at this time. So, he goes off to public school. Last year was Kindergarten. He was there for a half day, so I made it through. He goes into first grade next week...a full day. I'm going to miss him terribly. I do love a good back to school supply sale because I have a slight office supply fetish. Most of the supplies I bought on sale this year won't be going to school with my son. They're for home. Those sales are pretty much the highlight of this time of year for me.

Today, I noticed a link being passed around from The Stir. I generally avoid this site because, frankly, it annoys me. I opened the link anyway and read this little post. Hey, who am I to tell someone that they can't be happy that their kids are returning to school? The graphic about homeschooling is bit snarky and rude (because most homeschoolers I know are rejoicing, too), but it's her page and her right to write about her true feelings. I, personally, do not feel that way about my kid going back to school, so I thought I'd 10 Back to School confessions of my own. I'm sure there are others like me out there. Right? Right?

1. I am going to shrink into a crying heap of tears before I even pull out of the school parking lot. Not just cry - but I'm probably going to do that ugly cry. Puffy eyes, awkward snot and that weird gasp that you do when you cry.

2. Would it be wrong to give the teacher a pineapple on the first day of school? I figure apples are going to be popular and I like to stand out. I might even include a note that my child happens to be awesome and I'm sure she'll enjoy having him as a student.

3. My kid still fits into a lot of his clothes from last year, which is great because I don't have a lot of money to buy many new things. We bought some new clothes and I let him pick them out. I want him to be able to express his personality and feel comfortable in the clothes he chooses without feeling the need to fit in. 

4. I have a tradition of dropping my son off, going out to get coffee and then driving by the school on my way back home to make sure he's not wandering outside or something. I always wave to his classroom from the road, even though he can't see me, and whisper, "Hi Monkey. Hope you're enjoying school. Love you."

5. We had a great summer full of great family adventures, trips and some all around relaxation at the beach and the pool. Summer went by way too fast and I'm not ready to give it up yet. I'll miss being able to snooze in the morning and then get up and plan the day's adventure.

6. The sight of school buses sends my heart racing. For starters, some of the bus drivers around here are plain scary and one wonders how they even got their license. School buses also mean more traffic and the fact that a five minute trip to the store will take 15 minutes due to the frequent bus stops. Furthermore, the buses in my area pick kids of a few yards (literally) from school, despite the fact that there are sidewalks and a traffic light. Very few walk.

7. Sometimes, I consider homeschooling. Come August, I wonder "why the fuck aren't we homeschooling?" I feel frustrated that my plans to do so didn't come to fruition for many reasons.

8. I'll be lucky if I get a perfect back to school photo. I just want one photo of my little boy with his little backpack. I couldn't give a shit about posting it to my blog, I want the memories for my own heart. I'll be fighting back tears and he'll probably be spinning around or doing laps in the front yard before we leave for school, so I'll be lucky if I can see through the viewfinder and if I actually catch him without blur.

9. I like to make a full and hearty breakfast on the first day of school and on every day of school. I believe it lays an important foundation for the rest of the day and that good nutrition and food provide what the brain and the body need to get through 6 to 7 hours of learning. 

10. I couldn't tell you how many days, minutes and seconds there are until school starts. I'm still in denial that it's right around the corner. I'm trying to do my best to slow time down. So far, it's not working. For that, I am sad.