Sunday, January 26, 2014

365 Feminist Selfie: Week 3 of Embracing My Selfie

Holy Shit, it's cold again
 What up, y'all?

Here we are, into the third week of me snapping daily shots of my beautiful self for the world to enjoy as part of the #365feministselfie challenge.

Once again, if you have missed why I am doing this, please take a moment to read my first post on the subject, Embracing My Selfie. You can also view the previous weeks' posts:

Week One

and

Week Two

By now, you may realize that I suffer from Chronic Resting Bitch Face Syndrome. It's a real disease, with doctors and medicines and stuff (major bonus high five if you get that quote).

You may have also realized that I have a cool scarf and cool sunglasses. I know.


To the right, you see what happens when I try to duck face it and flash a peace sign. Winter gear, y'all! Not only do I suffer from Chronic Resting Bitch Face Syndrome, I am also unable to make a genuine Duck Face. I almost has the sadz, but not really.

These sunglasses feature heavily in photos of me....not just on this blog, but in "real life." My son picked these out for me. He completely gets my personality and my style. Sadly, the lenses are getting scratched.

This was taking during a omgitssofuckingcoldoutbutweneedtogetoutofthishouseandintosomefreshair walk in the park with my kids. We just bundle up in about five or six layers and take a twenty minute walk through the woods, which is typically very peaceful as there aren't many people braving walks in frigid weather.


I've noticed that there is some sort of trend among a certain subset of bloggers where they post photos of their fancy dancy customized planners. This is a fact that I mocked just a wee bit on my Facebook page. And I'm mocking it again.

Behold, here is my hand, adorned by a ring I got on clearance for $1.97 at Old Navy, holding a pen I stole from work 2 years ago - it's definitely not monogramed - writing out choreography notes from my belly dance teacher in a notepad that was on clearance for $0.84 cents at Target.

I dance a form of belly dance called Improvisational Tribal Style (ITS). It's largely improve, hence the name, and moves are determined by subtle cues between the dancers.

Every now and then, we do choreography. We have a show coming up and I'll be dancing in a short choreographed piece with fellow students and my teacher. Thankfully, she typed out notes. I need them.





Did I mention that it's pretty fucking cold? Therefore, I do not want to get out of bed. I love my happy, cozy, flannel sheets.








I don't always look this glamorous, but when I do, I'm drinking Red Raspberry Leaf tea from Traditional Medicinals.

It makes my uterus happy.

P.S. That mug is from Ikea. It's adorbs and I love it. Love it. Simple little mugs make me happy. It's the little things.















Rare sighting. This is something I just don't do often enough. I just love, love, love to read. I wish I did it more often.

This is Saving CeeCee Honeycutt by Beth Hoffman. It's a book about a young girl in 1960's Georgia. I'm halfway through and I'm finding it absolutely charming. That is the extent of my book review skills.

This is a library book. It's overdue. Apparently, I suffer from a condition that makes it impossible for me to get my books back to the library on time. I practically feel like a felon.

Why, yes, I am on Goodreads. I rarely update it, and I am not great at writing book reviews. I use it to keep track of books I want to read, thanks to the nifty barcode scanner on their Android app.
 



I love bees. However, it's really fucking cold, so there are no bees outside right now. I have to settle for cuddling my son's pillow pet.

Our planet needs bees. Please do not squash them. Please plant flowers that will attract them.

If you like bees and would like to make one out of a toilet paper roll, check out my crafty little blog post right here. It's pretty much the only crafty thing I've done. 

I love bees so much that I will eventually get a tattoo of one. Dedication.









Once again, we're down another week full of 7 photos of moi, wonderful moi. Tune in next week for.....my face.

Monday, January 20, 2014

2014 Items To Declutter in 2014: Brace Yourselves

Boxes waiting to be filled with donations
Fuck clutter. I mean that with an open heart. Fuck clutter.

We have too much stuff here. It's all books, toys, clothes. My kids are the sweetest and most amazing beings on this Earth, but they keep insisting on growing out of their clothes almost weekly. Why do they do this? It breaks my heart.

Two years ago, I followed along with a challenge on Mothering.com. There was a posting on a message board for people who wished to declutter 2012 items from their home/lives in 2012. There was one last year as well. Initially, I blogged about the challenge and you can find those posts here, here, and here. I never did come back with a final update, but I did manage over 2012 items in 2012. Go me. Since then, more stuff.

Paper is just evil. It's always coming into my house. My son is in school and they just love to murder as many trees as possible so they can send home 589798573283865894783478947594835748 pages a day. It's gotten a lot better this year. Last year, his teacher sent home so much on the daily. It was extremely frustrating. Between school, medical crap, and bills, paper is a big problem here. I am always unsure of what to keep and what to shred. There's so much conflicting information about what to keep for tax purposes. Keep all check stubs for 10 years. Keep all check stubs for 7 years. Don't keep all check stubs. Keep all utility bills for a year. Keep all utility bills for 10 years. Keep all receipts. Fuck the receipts. Keep every piece of paper. The IRS will get you 25 years later and you need to keep it all. ARRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Frustrating.

There are many clothes to be purged. Both kids have done a growth spurt recently, especially my daughter. She's been flying through sizes. I make kids who are initially tiny and can fit into the same size for quite a while....and then they grow and grow and grow.

I've talked about my issues with clutter in the 2012 series. I hold onto things for sentimental reasons and I have a very hard time letting go. I was not treated very well by peers as a child and when someone gave me something out of friendship, I'd want to hold onto it forever and ever as a reminder that someone liked me. That thought process still lingers in the corners of my mind. It's hard to beat, though I have been working on it. One of the things that helps me is taking pictures of everything I donate.

To complicate things, my son was diagnosed with OCD and Generalized Anxiety Disorder, as well as ADHD. I was also diagnosed with adult ADHD over a year ago, something I had always suspected. We do not medicate. We're working on behavioral therapy, counseling, organization. The organization is key for my son. He thrives much better when there is routine, planning, and organization. I must get my home well-organized for him. This has been such a challenge because my brain simply does not operate in a Pinterest-worthy way. I know I want organization, but I lack the ability to implement it. It sucks and it's something I need to work on every single day. My son also has major anxiety over letting go of things. He has anxiety due to changes. It's been very difficult to work with him to get rid of clothes that no lonfer fit, toys that are broken, etc.

Another roadblock is poverty. My family is doing quite poorly in the financial realm. If it was not for charitable individuals, I would not be sitting in my home right now. We're struggling a lot and it's intensely stressful. We're doing everything possible to change our situation and we're keeping faith and hope that things look up very soon. Poverty changes a lot of things in your mind. It changes the way your mind works. You have stuff that you no longer need or it's broken/ruined. You know it needs to be donated or thrown away (not counting items that can be sold - those are dealt with properly), but you develop this mental block that you need to keep it because you might not be able to afford something new in the future. Take clothes. I have a couple of things that no longer fit and are rather threadbare. It's hard to get rid of them because....well, what if I can't afford to buy something new? At least I won't be naked if I keep these clothes that are falling apart. And laundry. I live in an apartment. Laundry is $3.00 total per load. I can't afford to do laundry several times a week, so if I have extra clothes, I don't have to wash as often. Make sense?

I need to get this done. I need my house to feel like more of a home for me. I need things to be more organized and structured for my little boy. So, here I am again, challenging myself to declutter at least 2014 things this year. So far, I have a bunch of things bagged up for donation. We donate to a an organization that offers pick up service, so there's no procrastination with packing up the car and driving off to a donation center. I just have to leave the items on my doorstep and they'll pick it up once a week. Sadly, they are scheduled to pick up tomorrow and we now have a Winter Storm Warning with the possibility of a good bit of the white shit. I may just end up waiting another week to get all of my bags picked up.

I'll be blogging about this throughout the year, updating with my official numbers as well as pictures. Follow along. Also, you may be interested in checking out the official thread on Mothering.com if you'd like some inspiration.

***I'm putting this out there - I know the moment someone mentions being po', there is someone out there thinking, "well, why do you have the internet if you're so poor?" Puh-lease. I have the internet because you need it for jobs nowadays - communication with employers as well as for putting in applications. The library is not a viable option for my area. Please read this excellent article on poor people who have the audacity to use the internet.  ***

Sunday, January 19, 2014

Funkly Little Earth....Asshole. I'm An Asshole

Asshole. Holy forehead lines!
Hello. My name is Jenn. I am an asshole. Truly.

As many readers know, I have a Facebook page. It's connected to this blog. I have 2,000+ fans, which is small beans in the blog world, but I'm not worried about that because I'm here for interaction, not numbers.


I run a fairly easy going page. The waters are typically calm. Every now and then, I offend. It happens. I have very strong opinions, I have a wee bit of a temper, and I curse a lot, which offends people. I get the occasional, "you're an asshole email." This was one of those weeks.

Here on Blogger, you can track how your blog is holding up in the world. You can see your page views, what blogs are most popular, what countries your readers reside in, what search terms lead people to your blog, and more fun stats like that.

A few days ago, I noticed that someone had read every single on of my blog posts throughout the entire day. That's not truly a bad thing, but I had a small amount of concern. I currently have a few pretty creepy people in my life, including an ex who lives in this area that stalked me many years ago, resulting in me getting a restraining order. There are some losers I know who hold a grudge against me because they couldn't break me down and who would totally sift through all of my words, looking for validation that their treatment of me was justified. They'll never find that here.

Those creepers were the first thing I thought of when I saw that someone was perusing through every post all day. I posted to my Facebook page that it was something I noticed and wasn't sure if I should be flattered or creeped out. Part of the reason I posted that was for feedback - was it flattering or creepy. The other reason was to let any of my known creepy acquaintances know that I see them. Answers ranged from "yeah, that's creepy" to "probably just someone who thinks you're cool." The person doing the reading spoke up. She was just reading along, found me inspiring. And she was pissed that I posted that status. Ooops. I hadn't intended to hurt any feelings, but I did.

I then got a few emails that day and in the following days telling me that I was an asshole, I was being bitchy, I was rude, I don't deserve people to read my blog, I should just shut up, etc. I've gone back and forth with feeling bad to just rolling my eyes. 97.4% of the time, I'm rather nice and calm. I have a special dislike for bloggers who talk down to their fans, treat them like annoying little step-siblings, and are just general dicks to the public. I don't ever want to be that. So, I feel bad if I came across that way. However, I had explained a few times why I had even questioned why someone was reading every post. I also admitted that it would have been better if I approached it differently....a better option would have been to say, "Hey, I noticed someone has been reading every post all day. This is cool. Is it one of you?" Then I could have gone on to further explain why I was even insecure about it.

I was asked a few times why I even have a blog if I didn't want someone reading it. Obviously, I want people to read. That's why I write. I hope people read everything I write. My point was that there are currently people in my life who would spend their days analyzing every word I write to see if I mentioned them, alluded to them, etc. And that's creepy. That's all I meant. No harm.

I feel like an asshole for making someone feel bad. I feel like an asshole for not framing my curiosity in a different way. Am I truly a big asshole? No. I'm just a little one....that doesn't smell. 


Just getting that out. Breathing.

Saturday, January 18, 2014

365 Feminist Selfie: Week Two of Embracing My Selfie

Post car crying blotchiness
Hey ho! The second week of taking daily selfies of myself has come and gone.

If you don't know what I'm talking about, please take time to read Embracing My Selfie to find out why I'm doing this and check out week one's photos as well. You know, if ya want.

I have to say, fuck my skin. That's what I got out of this week. We're experiencing a bit of a financial rough patch. This means that I do not eat as well as normal and I can't even buy the cheap items to make my homemade skin treatments. It blows. My skin blows. It is rebelling in a most unjust way. So, looks like I have to buckle down and accept it and allow myself to post photos of me looking like.....me.






Don't mind the demon eye blur. I took this in the dark and nearly blinded myself with the flash. Don't do that. Just capturing a very rare night nursing cuddle. My little girl is quickly jogging down the road to fully weaning. It breaks my heart. It's all too quick.























Because who doesn't blow soap bubbles at their phone?



















Belly dance class!

I know you're thinking it - because people have said it. "Wait, you said you're struggling? How can you afford to pay for a belly dance class?" Hint: I didn't pay.

This class is my sanity saver. It does wonders for my spirit and my mental health. Improvisational Tribal Style, y'all! Yip!

P.S. I'm reading class notes that my friend typed up. Because she rocks hardcore. Love.Her.










I wear glasses. In the car. When it rains.




















There he is again. Seamus. I worked for about 30 minutes this way. He would not move. I would pick him up, put him down, and he would jump right back up. I gave up and let him stay there. He purred the entire time.

We were watching poprn.

Just kidding.

Maybe.

Obviously not. If so, my right hand wouldn't be visible. JUST KIDDING.










I insulted a fan on my Facebook page this past week. Totes unintentional, but it happened. Therefore, an asshole am I.


















Another week bites the dust. Onward to next week and 7 more gloriously gorgeous photos of the most beautiful Funky Little EarthChild.

P.S. I have been oil pulling while writing this post. May as well knock out two challenges at once. I'm efficient.

Much love!!!!

Sunday, January 12, 2014

Pulling My Teeth

I  have the suckiest bathroom lighting
At some point last year, I said I was going to start oil pulling. What is oil pulling? It's a method of swishing oil around in your mouth each day in order to promote oral health. Here is a much better explanation. Oil pulling comes with many claims - it will cure every thing from Alzheimer's to Cancer to Masturbation to Zinc Deficiency. Or something. If you google it, you'll see oil pulling listed as a cure for nearly every disease and disorder you can think of. I, however, do not buy into most of it at this time. I do believe it can have a good effect on your oral health, which is why I'm giving it a go. I know that oral health can affect your overall body heart, especially your heart and kidneys.....I'm just not down with the claims that it cures 948459478574 ailments.

 I was drawn to the claims in regards to oral health. I have suffered from gum disease and shitty teeth since I was a child. There have only been a few occasions in my life where I have gone to the dentist and have been told I was free of cavities. A typical visit yields at least a few cavities. My gums are always unhappy. I hate smiling because my teeth are ugly. They have permanent discoloration thanks to both tetracycline and braces. I'm good about taking care of my teeth. I brush 2 to 3 times daily. I floss one to two times a day. My diet isn't total crap. I do drink coffee, but it's coffee or heart meds (seriously - it keeps me from bottoming out and passing out - ask my cardiologist). My teeth are so shitty that I currently have cavities, but my dentist (God, I miss my old dentist) told me she will not fill them unless I have some scary deep, deep cleaning first. My insurance will not cover that. Guess what else my insurance doesn't cover? Other dentists. I have poor people insurance and, while it's been a lifesaver, the dental coverage suuuuuuccccckkkss. So, I'm down for oil pulling if there is a chance it could help my teeth.

There are also many suggestions for how to do this. The length of time to do it, whether or not to brush your teeth afterwards, the type of oil to use.....it all varies. I'm choosing coconut oil. That is what I have and what doesn't gag me. The typical suggested time is 20 to 25 minutes. I use a teaspoon, not a tablespoon.

What do you do? You put a spoonful of coconut oil in your mouth, swish it around like mouthwash, making sure to push it through your teeth. Do this for 25 minutes. Now, coconut oil is solid when the ambient temperature is under 74 degrees Fahrenheit, give or take a couple. Some people can take a spoonful of solid coconut oil into their mouth and let it sit there and melt. I tried that once, I gagged. It wasn't pretty. I need it in liquid form. In the cooler months, I melt it over the stove. Since I do this in the morning, I hold it over the stove when cooking eggs or bacon. It melts pretty quick. If you do this be sure to transfer it to a cooler spoon!! Do not be like me - I heated the coconut oil over the stove (P.S. - the first time my husband saw me doing this, he asked if I had started a heroin habit since that's sorta what it looks like) and then put that spoon directly into my mouth. Ouchmotherfuckthathurtssobad. Don't do it. When you're finished, spit it into a trashcan. Don't swallow. Don't spit it in the sink - it's no good for your pipes.

There's some question out there as to whether it is entirely safe for pregnant women and breastfeeding women. I probably wouldn't do it while pregnant and I'm barely nursing anymore. There's also a bit of debate about using it when you have fillings in your mouth. The argument is the oil pulling will either damage fillings - I remain unconvinced here - or it'll leach toxins out of your fillings into your mouth and you'll fucking turn into mercury itself. I remain convinced on this point as well. Besides, my fillings are there in my mouth all day, everyday, with a direct access to my bloodstream (live teeth! gums!). I'm pretty much fucked as it is.

As I said, there is plenty to be found on oil pulling and this isn't really a how-to. I suck at how-to stuff. I'm writing this because I tried oil pulling at the beginning of last Summer. I didn't last very long because I ran low on coconut oil and being extremely poor, I just plain couldn't afford to buy some more. I needed to save what was left for cooking. Thankfully, a friend generously sent me some coconut oil last month and I can set some aside for skin health and oil pulling.

I'm going to do it every day for one month to see if there is any notable difference. My regimen is easy - 1 teaspoon of oil once a day in the morning. Swish for 25 minutes. Spit into the trash. Rinse and spit. Brush teeth. Smile.

I'll let you know the results in 30 days. :)

*Disclaimer - the above link for coconut oil leads you to my affiliate link to Mountain Rose Herbs. If that makes you uncomfortable, but you want to check out MRH, just head to Mountainroseherbs.com.
*P.S. I giggled every time I typed "oral." Because I'm immature.

Friday, January 10, 2014

365 Feminist Selfie: Week One Of Embracing My Selfie

I know, right?
If you didn't catch the "why" behind my reasons for doing this, have a peek at my previous blog post on the subject. It's a quickie, so it won't hurt.

This marks my first week doing a selfie a day for the #365feministselfiechallenge. Do I have anything awe-inspiring to tell you? Eh...not really. Have I reached that deep center of myself where I realize I am truly beautiful on the inside and out and am in a perpetual state of nirvana and bliss? Nah. Buuuuuuut.....I did take a bunch of pictures of my face and I'm uploading them all for you right now. Has it been difficult? A little. I'm rocking some break outs this week that would normally keep me from popping out a selfie, but I'm honest and I'm going to do this honestly. You get to see me, zits and all. I have also learned that I really love my giant, fluffy, rainbow scarf. No, I didn't make it. That was a gift.

Are these selfies a "cry for help" yet? Hell to the no. If anything, I'm having fun giving the virtual finger to that ridiculous Jezebel article that I won't bother linking here.

So, enjoy.

And before we step further. All of these images are copyright. If, for any reason at all, you steal pictures og my gorgeous little face, I will hunt you down and cut a bitch. Namaste.

My Week in My Face:


Fun story - I was about to rock out with my self out and decided to turn and get the Christmas tree in the background. You know, so it'd look all festive and shit. Whilst turning, I lost my balance and fell off the couch. This is me, after my ass hit the floor.












This is Seamus? Do you remember Seamus? I wrote about him when he was younger. He has a complex. He's sweet, cute, and funny.....and he thinks he can get away with shit because he took on a car at 5 weeks of age, had his intestines thrust into his chest cavity, had emergency surgery to repair his diaphragmatic hernia, and lived to tell the tale.

He's a kind and patient little kitty cat, but he gets in so much trouble. Every.single.day.

He also likes to be in pictures. Say hello to Seamus.












Obviously I'm not asleep. Otherwise, how would I take pictures of myself? I have done some freaky shit with my phone when I dozed off, though. This week, I dozed off while checking my weather app to see how frozen my ass would be the next day. I dozed off while still on that app, but when I snapped awake a few minutes later, I ended up with my friend's Facebook cover photo as my phone wallpaper. I have skills.













This is a picture of my face making a face....in black and white. That makes it arty.














Those fish decals are supposed to be "Easily removable" from my bathroom door. Nothing short of a nuclear holocaust will get them to peel off. This is sad because the door needs to be replaced and I'll lose my fishy stickers.














Obviously, my cats are all about getting in on the selfie action. This is Duncan. He's 9 years old and he is my first cat. I have had him since he was 24 hours old. I bottle fed him (in public!!), potty learned him, co-slept, responded to his cries in the middle of the night. Total kitty attachment parenting. Everyone told me hand raised cats are assholes. He's a sweet little man, not an asshole. Most of the time.










And that concludes this weeks 365feministselfie thang. 51 more weeks of my face to go. Much love!

Friday, January 3, 2014

Embracing My Selfie

This coffee cup makes me happy.
It's a Friday afternoon. It's cold. It snowed last night. My kids and my husband are cleaning the apartment so I can spend some time answering emails and doing boring computer stuff. I came across a couple of blog posts that were criticizing something written on Jezebel that declared "selfies" are not at all empowering. So, I read it. The author argues, badly, selfies are not okay because they are telling young women (not young men, who also take a boatload of selfies) that they are only worth how they look. She is also angry at the fact that "selfie" was Oxford dictionary's word of the year because it's not empowering to young women.

I get some of where she is coming from. There's way too much emphasis placed on physical appearance, and the pressure is especially heavy on young women. I totes get it. However, she labels that selfies are a "cry for help." For realz? Get over it. Sure, some women want to be complimented. Maybe they have low self esteem and want a boost. Maybe they are vain. Maybe they know they look good and want the world to agree. Maybe they feel they look silly and want to share. Maybe they are sick and look pitiful and want some sympathy. Maybe...maybe...maybe no one gives a fuck what you think. Let me ask, what is wrong with fishing for compliments? Oh, I know you'll immediately tell me that it's bad because society tells women they must be pretty and therefore all of these women taking selfies are succumbing to our cultural pressure to be beautiful and, therefore, are looking for feedback from society that they have achieved the acceptable level of attractive. That could be partially true and there surely is a problem there. We all get that. It's just not that black and white. There are many selfie-taking women who are not doing it for that purpose, no matter if you believe them or not. They simply feel good about themselves and want to share or don't exactly feel good about themselves, and not because of society, and want a boost. It's okay to be told you are beautiful. The best part is where the author says it's okay to take a selfie if you are showing off a new pair of glasses or some new lipstick, because that's not a "real" selfie and you're really just highlighting your accessories. Are.you.fucking.kidding.me? So, objects are fine. You're fine if you're highlighting fashion, which was created because you're not good enough on your own, but you're not fine if it's just your face because you're just stuck under "the man" and you're crying out for help. Insert an eyeroll selfie here.

Personally, I am one to cut the author some slack. I'm not that much of an asshole and I'm not going to rip her apart because I disagree with her opinion. Also, I kinda feel bad because I think maybe she has selfie jealousy and she is writing this from some sort of pain. Maybe her phone takes crappy pictures. Maybe she has an elbow disorder that prevents her from holding a camera out and clicking the button to capture her beautiful face. Who knows? I won't judge too much.

The comments section of the article is fun because people selfie-bombed it. Then there were some blog posts in response, taking apart her article. Blogger Viva La Feminista, has responded to this Jezebel article by calling for women to take part in a 365 Day Selfie Challenge aka the #365FeministSelfie group on Flickr or via Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram using the #365FeministSelfie hashtag. At first, I thought this would be something fun to see unfold. I wasn't going to take part because, well, I *do* have a bitchy cell phone and I'm also quite lazy when it comes to uploading pics from my real camera. I'd probably fail at a 365 day challenge. Five minutes later, I was all in.

Why am I doing it? Well, one reason is because the article annoyed me and I'd like to be immature and do the opposite of what she says is "correct," much like my previous post in which I bitched about people who tell you what you should and should not say. I'm also doing it because I have been told my entire life that I am ugly. I personally do not like to look at myself. This is a problem. I pick apart photos of myself, even selfies. I see everything wrong with me. So, this is a small challenge to myself to get ME to acknowledge that I am not so hideous after all. If the Jezebel author has anything to say about that, then she can suck my selfie.

I likely will not be posting pics on the daily. I don't do Flickr or Instagram (I'm allergic). I occasionally visit Twitter. I may post to my Facebook Page. I will most likely take a pic a day and then upload them in one shot on this blog once a week. Sound like a plan?

It's rather cold



You Totes Need to Read This Post Because I Am Adorbs.

I know, right? Copyright ME 2014 - because I'll cut a bitch if you steal it.
A few days ago, I was reading a blog post about developing self confidence....or maybe I was watching free porn....I forget...Anyway, I came across an article from HuffPo about the shit I supposedly no longer supposed to say now that I am over 30. And by "now," I mean that I'm 35.

The article, which you can read for yourself, states that there are 7 deadly sins of speech for anyone over age 30 or people who have mortgages and jobs with benefits. Obviously the author has missed the last few years in this country, because I think the latter two criteria cut out half of her age group. Things one must not say over age 30:

"I know, right?"

"Adorbs."

"Totes."
"Feels."
"Cray or Cray-Cray."
"Amazeballs."
"I will cut you. I will cut a bitch."



I know, right? What is up with people telling other people what to write or say these days? It's totes on my Facebook feed all.day.long. People who whine about the grammar of others. People who cry over the use of hashtags. People who are unbelievably agry about cats with poor spelling and sentence structure. The, "thou shalt not write this or that," commands are totes all the rage these days. And I get it. Sometimes bad grammar and spelling makes things hard to read. My cats are, in fact, personally offended that the world seems the think they don't haz good grammerz. Hashtags give me seizures. No really - someone posts a picture of their kids and there are 597858975894834 hastags with it that may or may not have a damn thing to do with the picture - #lovethiskid #shehasanewshirt #kids #mommylove #thisisapicture #hellnotoGMO #mytaintburns #oatmeal #mickeymouse #kungfu #what #what. I don't have Instagram, so I'm not in the hashtag loop. I find it odd and slightly annoying, but that feeling goes away after 0.0004 seconds as I scroll down to the next picture of a cat wearing hipster glasses and a mustache. It's not that I don't get the annoyance with reading out of place words, hash tags, silly words, made up shit, etc. I just don't get the constant obsession these days with pointing it out and attempting to correct it. And the shaming. It's not like people are casually mentioning that a misspelled hashtag is annoying now and then. It's everyday. Every hour. I know that the sun won't set one my news feed without at least 5 or 6 self-righteous  memes, posts, status updates, what have you raging on the latest grammar faux pas. That's more annoying than a bad grammar cat meme with 52 nonsensical hashtags attached to it.

This article just annoyed me. Maybe I am bitter that the HuffPo has become ultra fluff lately. Or maybe I'm just over people saying what you can or can not do just because you belong to this class of people, are that gender, or you're this age. Telling people (typically women) they cannot do things because they are over 30 is so trite and totally something you'd find in a 1997 issue of Redbook. Ooooh, don't wear skirts above the knee. Don't wear skirts below the knee. Don't wear sparkly purple shoes with bright pink socks. Don't say totes. It's totes annoying. There are bigger issues in the world - I mean, there are people who really believe that reality TV is actually real. That's a real issue and it's cray. Completely cray. Or maybe I'm the cray cray one and I'm taking this too seriously. Yeah, that's probably it.

Besides, the author used the words, "flotsam and jetsam." Ew. Who even says that in day to day conversation? Those are the after products of coitus. Look it up in a Webster if you don't believe me.

I say all of those things, except for "feels," which I have never heard in the manner referenced in the article. I'm an intelligent woman. Sometimes I act rather mature. Sometimes, I fart at the dinner table and declare such butt utterance, "amazeballs." Vernacular changes with time. We adopt new words. Some of those words stick. Some of those words are merely trendy and fade away with the latest one hit wonder. Some people just plain don't give a shit and say what they feel, be it in the Queen's English or in the dialect of a typical 15 year old glued to her iPhoney - even when they're over 30. It's fun to make fun of it, but some people take it way too seriously. Kinda like I'm taking the whole article too seriously....but I'm having fun with it. And now I'm rambling. At the end of the day, it doesn't matter if we say "amazeballs" or "amazing", "cray" or "crazy", "I'd rather enjoy gutting that vile person" or "I'll cut a bitch." All that matters is that we treat each other with love. Or some feel good shit like that.

Yes, I do realize that I am complaining about people who complain about what other people say by complaining about what those people say. It's totes not lost on me. I'm just poking fun.

But I will cut a bitch who disagrees with me. Since I'm totes adorbs, no one will suspect me.

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