365 Feminist Selfie: Another Week of Embracing My Selfie

 At this point in time, we all know I completely suck at keeping any kind of regular blogging schedule. I'm still on the #365FeministSelfie train, but technological issues, illness, and life have gotten in the way of me coming here to slap on a few photos and write some blurbs.

I'm still having a fab time taking pictures of my beautiful self, I guess. I'm part of an online group for happy selfies and it's been a lot of fun checking out everyone's pictures and reading their stories.

To the left, we have my very old, old sneakers in a hospital room. That's been the story of the past few weeks - crappy health issues. I was taken by ambulance to the hospital a few weeks ago. I suffer from a condition that causes my esophagus to quit working while I'm eating, leaving food lodged, tons of pain, and a lot of trouble breathing. It's also a perforation risk. That day was one of the worst episodes I ever had, so they called an ambulance and I was treated in the hospital. I have to get a bunch of testing done - scopes and barium swallows - in the coming weeks. Ew.

Spring is here! Early Spring means 65 degrees one day and 30 degrees with snow the next. Plus, tons of rain. Tons of wind. Some snow. Some ice. Probably a bit of sleet. And a thunderstorm.

This was a particularly gorgeous day and I took advantage of the nice weather to walk to my son's school to pick him up. He loves days when we get to walk. Obviously, this isn't technically a selfie. My husband took the picture....probably for my butt.

Highlighting my procrastination....this pic is from March 17th. See? It's been a while.

That's me and my green for St. Paddy's Day. And those are genuine Irish Eyes. They're my Grandfather's eyes. Same shape and the same color, I believe. I know he had blue eyes, but I'm not sure of the shade. He died in 1950 and the only color pics are fake color.

My son an I took a walk to pick up my car from the mechanic. He's growing up so fast and I know he may not be so willing to hold my hand for walks in the near future. Most times, he's running ahead, exploring. This was a moment where he slowed down and talk my hand for a short while.

And those shoes. Those are totally him. H&M used to sell these - they are Converse knock-offs - in a variety of super bright and awesome colors. He loves them and we bought a bunch in various sizes to grow into over a year ago.

Another rare kid moment - my little girl curled up on my lap while napping. she hardly ever slows down to cuddle on my lap these day. Being a two year old is very busy work.

She looks like she is nursing, but she's not. She just has her face smushed into my boob.


Why, yes,  I do have a wrinkly forehead sometimes.

More rare moments. This was on my way to a belly dance performance. I rarely ever wear make up. The only time I put it on is for a belly dance performance or for Rocky Horror in October. I am NOT good at putting on make up. YouTube tutorials be damned. I do a very simple eye, with very basic eyeliner and some mascara. That's it. I don't put lipstick on until right before my performance. Otherwise, it never stays on.













That brings us to an end of the latest installment of me forcing you to look at me.

Obviously, I'm not sure that I'm going to keep up with a weekly thing or move to monthly updates. I really do like the whole #365selfiechallenge and I'm having fun with it. I'm glad it's somewhat inspired me to be a little more active on my blog. However, this isn't a selfie blog and I feel the need to light the fire under my buttocks and start writing about actual stuff.....like belly dance, having a child with OCD, storm chasers, boobs, etc.

To see all of my previous posts in the Embracing My Selfie series, please check out this link full of posts on the subject. 

For the post that inspired this, please check out Viva La Feminista.

Pulling My Teeth: Update

Thanks for the coconut oil, Erica.

Just a little bit late here.

As I promised in my original post on oil pulling, I did it for 30 days. I typically oil pulled in the morning, though there were some days when it was so hectic that I forgot and would do it later in the afternoon or the evening. I may have skipped a day. I forget.

I surprised myself in that I was able to let the solid oil melt in my mouth, something that had gagged me during previous attempts. I would place the spoonful of solid coconut oil in my cheek and allow it to melt - took about 30 seconds - without gagging. Score!

So, did it make my teeth all fancy and clean? Are my gums healthier? Does my body feel so much better? Did it heal a bunch of ailments? Are my cavities gone?

Well, for one, oil pulling certainly left my teeth feeling very nice and smooth. That feeling would last for a little bit and was enjoyable - similar to the feeling you get after a cleaning at the dentist.


As for healing my gums, improving oral health or overall health - FAIL. There is zero noticeable change in my gums since beginning this routine. My gums bled just as much on day 30 as they did on day 1. Absolutely not a trace of improvement whatsoever. My overall health? Same. I don't feel any worse, other than massive exhaustion, and I do not feel any better.

I stopped oil pulling right on day 30. Why? I lost two fillings. Two motherfucking fillings are gone. This is sometimes noted as a "side effect" of oil pulling and you'll hear various reasons ranging from the fact that all that swishing will knock a filling out to it's your body's way of detoxing itself. Well, detox away, but I need those fillings. One was the youngest filling in my mouth, on one of my incisors and was comprised of the white filling material (I call it "bonding" which may be an incorrect term).

Since I have very crappy poor people Medicaid dental insurance that doesn't cover many fillings (if at all - and you need to ask permission for them), I cannot risk losing any more. So, I have suspended the oil pulling for the time being.

I wish I could have come back to tell you that it worked, my gums are healed, my teeth are sparkly white, my acne is gone, my poop looks like a Faberge egg, and my nails paint themselves. I'm not going to tell you not to try it. Many people are extremely satisfied with oil pulling and I certainly believe it works for them. Like anything else, what works for one person does not always work for another (a lesson that should be applied to all aspects of life). 

Pulling My Teeth

I  have the suckiest bathroom lighting

At some point last year, I said I was going to start oil pulling. What is oil pulling? It's a method of swishing oil around in your mouth each day in order to promote oral health. Here is a much better explanation. Oil pulling comes with many claims - it will cure every thing from Alzheimer's to Cancer to Masturbation to Zinc Deficiency. Or something. If you google it, you'll see oil pulling listed as a cure for nearly every disease and disorder you can think of. I, however, do not buy into most of it at this time. I do believe it can have a good effect on your oral health, which is why I'm giving it a go. I know that oral health can affect your overall body heart, especially your heart and kidneys.....I'm just not down with the claims that it cures 948459478574 ailments.

 I was drawn to the claims in regards to oral health. I have suffered from gum disease and shitty teeth since I was a child. There have only been a few occasions in my life where I have gone to the dentist and have been told I was free of cavities. A typical visit yields at least a few cavities. My gums are always unhappy. I hate smiling because my teeth are ugly. They have permanent discoloration thanks to both tetracycline and braces. I'm good about taking care of my teeth. I brush 2 to 3 times daily. I floss one to two times a day. My diet isn't total crap. I do drink coffee, but it's coffee or heart meds (seriously - it keeps me from bottoming out and passing out - ask my cardiologist). My teeth are so shitty that I currently have cavities, but my dentist (God, I miss my old dentist) told me she will not fill them unless I have some scary deep, deep cleaning first. My insurance will not cover that. Guess what else my insurance doesn't cover? Other dentists. I have poor people insurance and, while it's been a lifesaver, the dental coverage suuuuuuccccckkkss. So, I'm down for oil pulling if there is a chance it could help my teeth.

There are also many suggestions for how to do this. The length of time to do it, whether or not to brush your teeth afterwards, the type of oil to use.....it all varies. I'm choosing coconut oil. That is what I have and what doesn't gag me. The typical suggested time is 20 to 25 minutes. I use a teaspoon, not a tablespoon.

What do you do? You put a spoonful of coconut oil in your mouth, swish it around like mouthwash, making sure to push it through your teeth. Do this for 25 minutes. Now, coconut oil is solid when the ambient temperature is under 74 degrees Fahrenheit, give or take a couple. Some people can take a spoonful of solid coconut oil into their mouth and let it sit there and melt. I tried that once, I gagged. It wasn't pretty. I need it in liquid form. In the cooler months, I melt it over the stove. Since I do this in the morning, I hold it over the stove when cooking eggs or bacon. It melts pretty quick. If you do this be sure to transfer it to a cooler spoon!! Do not be like me - I heated the coconut oil over the stove (P.S. - the first time my husband saw me doing this, he asked if I had started a heroin habit since that's sorta what it looks like) and then put that spoon directly into my mouth. Ouchmotherfuckthathurtssobad. Don't do it. When you're finished, spit it into a trashcan. Don't swallow. Don't spit it in the sink - it's no good for your pipes.

There's some question out there as to whether it is entirely safe for pregnant women and breastfeeding women. I probably wouldn't do it while pregnant and I'm barely nursing anymore. There's also a bit of debate about using it when you have fillings in your mouth. The argument is the oil pulling will either damage fillings - I remain unconvinced here - or it'll leach toxins out of your fillings into your mouth and you'll fucking turn into mercury itself. I remain convinced on this point as well. Besides, my fillings are there in my mouth all day, everyday, with a direct access to my bloodstream (live teeth! gums!). I'm pretty much fucked as it is.

As I said, there is plenty to be found on oil pulling and this isn't really a how-to. I suck at how-to stuff. I'm writing this because I tried oil pulling at the beginning of last Summer. I didn't last very long because I ran low on coconut oil and being extremely poor, I just plain couldn't afford to buy some more. I needed to save what was left for cooking. Thankfully, a friend generously sent me some coconut oil last month and I can set some aside for skin health and oil pulling.

I'm going to do it every day for one month to see if there is any notable difference. My regimen is easy - 1 teaspoon of oil once a day in the morning. Swish for 25 minutes. Spit into the trash. Rinse and spit. Brush teeth. Smile.

I'll let you know the results in 30 days. :)

*Disclaimer - the above link for coconut oil leads you to my affiliate link to Mountain Rose Herbs. If that makes you uncomfortable, but you want to check out MRH, just head to Mountainroseherbs.com.
*P.S. I giggled every time I typed "oral." Because I'm immature.

Crafty

My little cast on. I can't get past this point.

I am craft challenged. I can do a few things here and there. Obviously, I can make bees out of toilet paper tubes. I don't have much in the way of an ability to think up things and put them into action. I am a complete Pinterest fail. I want to be crafty. I don't need to make more houses out of Popsicle sticks or puppets out of paper bags, but there are some things that I would really like to learn.

Sewing

My mom has sewed for nearly here entire life. Her mother sewed. Her mother's mother sewed and so on. My mom had 5 siblings and she is the best at sewing out of all of them. She has sewn many a Christening gown, wedding dress and Communion dress. She has made dolls, home decor, pillows, blankets, cloths, cloth diapers....pretty much anything. She sewed my wedding dress (which still still curses me for to this day). You would think I would have learned to sew when I was little. For some reason, it never happened. I am a major perfectionist. If I can't do something just right I tend to abandon it. Very immature. I tried to learn now and then, but I never wanted my mom to see that I sucked. My mom is the last person on the planet who would care if I sucked. She would never judge me, but I just didn't want to show my suckitude.

Knitting

I have a lot of friends who knit. I am jealous of their ability to whip up a sock, a hat or a sweater. I would absolutely love to be able to knit my own wool diaper covers. I've never taken lessons, mainly because I can't find any in-person lessons at a good price. I have watched some YouTube videos and did learn a simple cast on method, but I can't get past that point. So many videos are poor quality, or the instructor goes too fast or they don't have a good angle where you can actually see what's happening.

I do have a round loom and I made two hats that don't look entirely too stupid, but I can't do any of the fancy stuff that I see other people do with looms. plus, I want to learn how to knit with needles. Right now, my knitting needles have been primarily used as weapons (that'll teach my husband to eat one of my fair trade organic holier-than-thou chocolate bars again).

Crochet

Just like knitting, I have a lot of friends who can crochet. The same jealousy regarding the ability to whip up craftiness applies here. My belly dance instructor crochets and she has made some of the most amazing things to wear with her costumes or in class. I can make a chain, but I can't get past that point. If there is ever need for a 36 foot chain, I'm your gal.

Those are the three main things I would like to learn how to do this year. I just think it would be wonderful to be able to sew, knit or crochet your own garments and whatnot. It's a great way to be frugal. It's the end of September already, but I am going to kick myself in my own ass and make myself get the ball rolling. I am giving myself until the end of the year to learn how to do something - even if it's just to crochet a small dish sponge or knit a little flower or sew a napkin.

Another factor is belly dance. I take tribal belly dance classes. It's something I am very serious about and intend to pursue for the rest of my life. I'm just a baby student so I don't have any performances on the horizon, but those days will come and tribal belly dance costuming can be very ornate. Many dancers do a lot of crafting of their own costumes pieces, from hair accessories to shirts to bras. It can be way cheaper to make your own than to buy something ready made.

December 31, 2012 - I will have something to show you by then, no matter how small, unless that whole Mayan thing was true and the world is goen by then. I'm committed. I'll be watching You Tube videos, checking tutorials online and maybe I'll take a crochet class from my belly dance instructor. This mama is going to get crafty.

UPDATE: 2012 Items to Declutter in 2012. Part 2 - I Think I Can, I think I can

In January, I posted a challenge to myself - to declutter our home. Specifically, the plan is to declutter 2012 items in 2012. In the original post, I gave a little background information as to why I tend to hold onto so much stuff. I also noted that I'd post updates as I go along, which I have done on my Facebook page. I've had some computer issues in the past month that have left me without a real computer and relying on my phone. Hence, the lack of brilliant posts from myself in the past month.

So, where am I? So far, I have decluttered my home of 425 items since January. Awesomeness, right? I will not lie, I feel pretty darn proud. I should note, that the amount I posted here is actually conservative. I have actually decluttered a little more. As I mentioned, my computer had some issues. It's currently being worked on by a friend. I had kept a running list of items on my computer and one of my final tech screw ups before the machine rebelled was not saving the list. Sigh. So, there was one set of items sent out for donation that didn't get listed and are not part of the tally. I can't remember every exact thing that I donated that day.

Most items have been going to Purple Heart. They have been coming out once a week to pick things up from my front step. I also purged my kitchen cabinets of both food and kitchenware. The food is shameful. I hate wasting food, but I had a few expired items in my cabinets. We also got rid of a lot of my husband's grandmother's dishes. They are pretty and they are old, but they have been stashed away for over 5 years. We will never use them because I am unsure of the lead content of the dishes. We already have our set of dishes that we use on a daily basis. Hubby was fine with donating them. We kept a few pieces and I plan to get those plate hangers and hang them up on a wall. I also got rid of various glasses and mugs that never see the light of day. I cleared up so much space in my cabinets. Now things can be stored properly and are more easily accessible. Bonus: I am more likely to cook if my kitchen is looking purdy. I have a mental block about working in the kitchen when it's cluttered and messy.

Emotionally, I have been doing well. I have to admit, I do wish I could wave a magic wand and have everything fall into place and look perfect. There are times when I feel overwhelmed and wonder if I'm ever going to reach my goal. These thoughts happen the most while I'm doing laundry. My laundry breeds. A lot. I have purged so much in the way of clothes. I got rid of 60 clothing items in a single night, with more leaving the house on other donation days. Yet, it still feels like we have too much. Other than those occasional feelings, I have been handling the whole challenge well. I feel like I'm able to let go a little bit easier. I have moments where I'll want to keep something because of it's associated memory, but those moments are getting less frequent.

So, keep checking back to see my progress. I update the totals on my Facebook page, which also feeds into my Twitter. If you can find me on Mothering.com, where the thread orginated, you will see my detailed lists of items donated. I may start adding the lists to my blog. Until then, let's keep on keeping on by not keeping things we don't need to keep. Yeah, I said that.

Pictured: My linen rack. It's a cheapie wire cube rack I got at Target many moons ago. The picture in the beginning is what it looked like before I started a decluttering blitz. Boo! The pic at the end is the way I intend to keep it. I donated a few sheet sets and a chair cover.

2012 Items to Declutter in 2012 - Can I do it?

 In November, I wrote a post called Accountability, in which I noted my desire to remove clutter and take back my home. I detailed some of the things that allowed all of this clutter to happen. I failed to mention that my mind helps me hold onto clutter. I am an extremely sentimental person and I hold on to things because they remind me of happy times or people I love. Part of it stems from my childhood. As I mentioned in my post about rage issues  , I was bullied a lot in school. I would hold on to items that I friend gave me because it reminded me that someone did like me or that someone was actually nice to me. Obviously, I have some things to work out there. I'm really trying. I'm learning how to let go. I'm learning that the stuff isn't as valuable as the memory.

 I got side-tracked in November and December due to everything surrounding the treatment for my daughter's hemangiomas. I wasn't able to complete the goal I had set for myself in November. We were able to start getting the ball rolling towards the end of December. I told my husband that Santa was not welcome unless we got rid of a few things first. We did pretty good. We cleared out a lot of things from our spare bedroom. I was proud of myself for being able to let go. One of the things I do that helps me is take pictures of all the items I donate. It serves a few purposes. It helps me remember exactly what I donated. This is good for tax reasons if you like to deduct your donations. It also helps me preserve memories. Do I need to keep a shirt that doesn't fit just because I wore it on some happy day? No, not really. It could serve someone else. So, I take a picture. If I miss it that bad I can always look at the picture. It's been a really helpful and simple method to allow me to let go.

There was a moment where our decluttering fervor backfired. In December, we went through a lot of stuff and purged a good deal of junk. There was one night where the hubby and I worked in the spare room while the kiddies slept. I emptied and consolidated boxes/bins. I put all of the boxes into our hallway and our living room for hubby to take outside and leave on the front step for Purple Heart to pick up. I managed to get about 7 boxes into one big storage bin and one small cardboard box that night. There is still a way to go, but it's a start. I put a lot of sentimental things that are important into one small cardboard box - my wedding album, pictures of my husbands family dating back to the early 1900's (my husband's parents, grandparents and most family members are dead - he only has about 5 living relatives), cards from when my hubby was born, an Israel Tree Memorial thing from his father's death, pictures of my sweet, sweet kitty, Abigael, who is in Heaven, the little bracelets that my son wore in the hospital when he was born. Things like that. I put that box aside from the other boxes and went to bed. The next day, I walked into the room to appreciate the work we had done the night before. I noticed the box was gone. I looked all over for it. Gone. Purple heart had picked up our stuff about 8 hours earlier. I frantically called my husband who frantically called Purple Heart. The lady on the line was sad to hear our story and said she would try to help, but it's over a month later and they pretty much told us to give up hope. I'm devastated, but trying to move on. That brings us to the here and now.

My son is 5 and says he wants his own room. He told me he needs privacy. I respect that. We are a co-sleeping family and he has been in our room since birth. Our apartment is small and we planned to milk the co-sleeping thing until at least 5 so we could avoid space issues. Our spare bedroom is the catch-all for our crap. It's where I keep my computer desk. The plan is to keep getting rid of the clutter and to get a new desk. My desk is huge and takes up a lot of space. It's not necessary to have such a big desk. My parents need to replace a desk in their basement, so I'm thinking of giving them this one and getting a much smaller and simpler one for myself at Ikea. It'll free up space in the room. We're going to get the Little Dude a bed and do up the room like a regular kids room.

 That bedroom is one of our goals. I would like to have it completed by the middle of this year. There is still a lot to be done around the house. I'm not proud of my home at all. I hate it, really. I hate what it's become and it feels so overwhelming. I never invite people over because I'm embarrassed with this place. After I had the baby, I didn't invite people to see her because I didn't want to show off my clutter. It was okay because most people who had made a fuss when I was pregnant forgot about me the day after my baby was born, so I never pushed the issue. Still, I want to be proud of my apartment. I want it to feel like a home. Right now, it feels like a place that I have to put up with. Just a place to sleep at night. It's not homey or personal. It's not comfortable to me. My son is a little on the hyper side and needs structure and focus. I know that I am doing damage to his sweet little mind with all the chaos of clutter around him. A cluttered home leads to a cluttered mind.

 So, I told my husband that my goal is to get rid of 2012 items in 2012. I am throwing myself into it and committing. There is a forum on Mothering.com that is devoted to de-cluttering and organizing your home. There is a thread specifically for people who want to get rid of 2012 items in 2012. I joined that thread for the support, motivation and the accountability. I also downloaded two apps to help things along - Cozi and Chore Checklist Lite. They are both free. They aren't specific to decluttering, but you can customize them to make lists of things you want to accomplish. I like to check things off of lists. For me, it's highly motivating. I also found a website called My Simpler Life. She has a calendar that lists daily tasks for getting your home simplified, organized and decluttered. The point is to do small things each day and not try to overwhelm yourself with a complete overhaul of your home in one day. I find the calendar to be helpful in guiding me along. Honestly - it's another thing I can check off and say, "I did it!"

 Anyone with me? I'll post along with updates every few days. Join me in simplifying your home, your life and your spirit. You'll find that you are happier for it!

Eggs are a symbol of resurrection and rebirth, which is why I chose that picture. Also, because it's pretty. They were our breakfast this morning. 

Note: You can find an update on my challenge HERE.