I have things that need to get done. I probably shouldn't be sitting at the computer, but I figured if I wrote out what needs to be done then I'll be more likely to do it. Right? My house is an utter mess. I believe the proper term might be shit storm. It all started when we moved in...three years ago. I suck at organization. Add a toddler-turned preschooler-turned kindergartener and five cats to the mix and it's just pure disaster. Ok, this isn't anything like Hoarders: Buried Alive, but I'm afraid it could go that way if I don't get things under control.
Things were okay until a little over a year ago. Granted, my house - it's actually an apartment - was never perfect - like I said, kids and cats - but, it got progressively worse last year. When I had my miscarriage all the life was sucked out of me. I fell into a nasty depression. I didn't want to get up, get myself dressed or move to a different part of the house. I didn't want to make meals for myself or my family. I turned into a horrible, horrible mother. The last thing I wanted to do was clean. My husband tried, he really did. He just doesn't have the knack for organizing things. The hubby's method usually involved putting things in bags and then throwing said bags into a closet or a corner. Even as I made my way out of my depressive fog I couldn't seem to get a firm grasp on the clutter. I'm one of those people who needs things to be perfect, but if I can't get it perfect then I give up and let chaos rule. Eventually, things became overwhelming.
I became pregnant again a year ago. I had a wonderful nesting spike in the very few weeks of my pregnancy. I was cooking. I organized and cleaned out my kitchen. I did a lot more cleaning around the house. Then the all day nausea and zombie bone-deep exhaustion set in. And things started to crumble bit by bit. When I hit my second trimester and shook off the nausea I was then hit with horrendous tailbone and pelvic pain. Turns out I had SPD - symphysis pubis dysfunction - which really took it's toll on my mobility. It was pretty severe by the time I got to my third trimester. Every step brought a sensation of a thousand knives stabbing my in the pelvic region. I would take me upwards of 15 to 20 minutes to be able to get out of bed on some days. Since that apparently wasn't enough for my body, I decided to have these freak blood pressure spikes and my midwife benched me. I wasn't put on bedrest, but I was put on "you better stay off your feet as much as possible and don't lift a damn finger" rest. Got the blood pressure under control, but then my feet swelled to about 4 or 5 times their size. No exaggeration. I have witnesses. It was scary. The bitch of it all was that the nesting urge hit so strongly in my last few weeks and I couldn't do anything about it. Everytime I tried I would get winded and then end up with more pelvic pain. Truly, it sucked.
Here I am, 3 months after the birth of my baby. I need to get things under control before TLC is knocking at my door and asking to film us. Wait...maybe I should let the mess grow so that TLC does knock at my door and I get some free housecleaning. Hmmm.
I'm setting a goal to get serious and start strong this week. We have been having Purple Heart come out to our house to pick up donations every few weeks. So far, it's been mostly small donations, but my goal is to really get a lot out of here. Stuff just grows. I swear. It breeds. It makes love sweet clutter loves and breeds new clutter. Anyway, so I have another Purple Heart pick up scheduled for this week. I'm promising myself that I'll have a lot more for them this time.
I know to start small so that it doesn't get overwhelming. It's when I tried to do a complete home overhaul in an hour that I get so frustrated and end up making a bigger mess. I'm going to devote an hour each day, if kiddies and kitties cooperate, and I'll get things looking semi-nice. I really want to have things looking better by the holidays. No one visits, but I want it nice for me. I dread the idea of putting up a tree and having Santa deposit more crap next to the crap we already have.
My other goal is to start cooking a lot more. I suck in the kitchen, but I try because I know my mediocre meals are still much more healthier than what's served in fast food digs and other restaurants. Again, this is something that fell by the wayside with my miscarriage and then with my pregnancy. Right now, I have a pot roast in my fridge. I've never cooked one before so who knows how it will turn out. They were on sale a few weeks ago so I grabbed a couple and stashed them in my freezer. I'm going to give it a try tonight. If I'm feeling especially lucky, I'll try to make dough for some dutch oven bread.
I hope by listing some of these goals that I'll feel more accountable and it'll light a fire under my butt. I don't think anyone ever reads this blog, but I'll pretend I have an audience and hopefully that will inspire me to keep going.