So, I Found This Picture of Bugs Humping

Copyright JSH 2012

I was looking through some pictures today and I found a set from a walk I took with my family in the Summer of 2012. We were hiking through some local woods as we typically do year round. I had gone to hug a tree and my husband was going to take a picture when I looked down and noticed two sticks stuck together and stuck that way on the bark of the tree - right under my hand. Then I realized, those aren't sticks, those are Walking Sticks - insects. And they weren't stuck together. They were making love sweet insect love. Right next to my hand! Ew! No blankets. No "Do Not Disturb" sign. Just full on insect fuckery right there out in the open. In front of my children. Won't someone please think of the children?

I did what any normal person would do when they encounter two living beings humping away on the side of a tree. I took pictures. About thirty of them. Close up. They were very open and gracious about it.

© Funky Little EarthChild 2012

Now, you'll see in these pictures that the lady Walking Stick is rather curvy and the dude is on the lean side. Walking Sticks have quite a bit of stamina - they stay..umm...attached...for quite a few hours. That's right ladies. This little dude weighs less than an angel feather, yet he has enough stamina to satisfy his lady all afternoon. Say what you want about bugs, but these little guys are no two pump chumps.

© Funky Little EarthChild 2012

In all seriousness, I love finds like this. I think bugs are fascinating and my kids love them, so we've got a lot of pics of various little critter dudes and dudettes. This was exciting as I had never seen a live Walking Stick out in it's natural environment in over thirty some years of life until that day. Had I kept on walking and not stopped to hug the tree, I would have completely missed these lovers. And that would suck. I did thank them for allowing my family to linger and stare at them and take pictures of them copulating. I mean, you have to give them respect. I know they're "just bugs," but it may have freaked them out to have their insect sex disturbed by typical American tourists getting really close and saying intelligent things like, "holy shit! Look at that little guy go!" So, thank you Walking Sticks, for allowing me to photograph you and point at you and use you as a lesson for my kids.

At least I had a little class and didn't do anything tacky like pose for a picture next to bug lovin'. I mean, what kind of weirdo does that? Oh wait...

Weirdo © Funky Little EarthChild 2012

Pulling My Teeth: Update

Thanks for the coconut oil, Erica.

Just a little bit late here.

As I promised in my original post on oil pulling, I did it for 30 days. I typically oil pulled in the morning, though there were some days when it was so hectic that I forgot and would do it later in the afternoon or the evening. I may have skipped a day. I forget.

I surprised myself in that I was able to let the solid oil melt in my mouth, something that had gagged me during previous attempts. I would place the spoonful of solid coconut oil in my cheek and allow it to melt - took about 30 seconds - without gagging. Score!

So, did it make my teeth all fancy and clean? Are my gums healthier? Does my body feel so much better? Did it heal a bunch of ailments? Are my cavities gone?

Well, for one, oil pulling certainly left my teeth feeling very nice and smooth. That feeling would last for a little bit and was enjoyable - similar to the feeling you get after a cleaning at the dentist.


As for healing my gums, improving oral health or overall health - FAIL. There is zero noticeable change in my gums since beginning this routine. My gums bled just as much on day 30 as they did on day 1. Absolutely not a trace of improvement whatsoever. My overall health? Same. I don't feel any worse, other than massive exhaustion, and I do not feel any better.

I stopped oil pulling right on day 30. Why? I lost two fillings. Two motherfucking fillings are gone. This is sometimes noted as a "side effect" of oil pulling and you'll hear various reasons ranging from the fact that all that swishing will knock a filling out to it's your body's way of detoxing itself. Well, detox away, but I need those fillings. One was the youngest filling in my mouth, on one of my incisors and was comprised of the white filling material (I call it "bonding" which may be an incorrect term).

Since I have very crappy poor people Medicaid dental insurance that doesn't cover many fillings (if at all - and you need to ask permission for them), I cannot risk losing any more. So, I have suspended the oil pulling for the time being.

I wish I could have come back to tell you that it worked, my gums are healed, my teeth are sparkly white, my acne is gone, my poop looks like a Faberge egg, and my nails paint themselves. I'm not going to tell you not to try it. Many people are extremely satisfied with oil pulling and I certainly believe it works for them. Like anything else, what works for one person does not always work for another (a lesson that should be applied to all aspects of life). 

Frozen Toes, Warm Hearts. Or Something Like That

Copyright 2014 JSH

The frozen white stuff that falls from the sky, oh we have so much of it. So much fucking snow.

I live in Pennsylvania. It's Winter. Winter in Pennsylvania brings cold temperatures, gloomy skies, frozen white stuff, winds, cold rain. It's expected. Every few years, sometimes several in a row, we get hammered in the Winter. We get storm after storm bringing us snow, sleet, freezing rain, and any other type of frozen precipitation. And brutal cold. This is one of those years. Mama Nature has gone all dramatic with the Winter weather. We've had a constant stream of storms dumping this frozen white shit all over our lawns and streets. We even had an ice storm, which brought down many trees and power lines in this area - the worst natural disaster here since Hurricane Sandy. There are many reasons for this extreme active weather pattern, which also included the Polar Vortex drooping down over half the country like a big saggy frozen boob - there are pressure systems off the East Coast that keep other pressure systems close to the coast, allowing cold air to travel down to us and naughty storms to keep following the same pattern. There's the Jet Stream, which is pretty much just on "lather, rinse, repeat" this year. We've got Climate Change. It's really a thing. Generally, there is a typical interplay of all these systems and atmospheric streams on this planet that control which way storms go, how low temps go, and how fucking batshit crazy we'll go after we've been locked in our frozen homes for the 5th consecutive week. Also, because Obama. Just kidding.

We've had so much damn snow that I, a lover of my gentle Mother Earth, am about to shake my fist at the heavens and scream, "bitch, we ain't the cast of Frozen! Knock this shit off." My son has missed a ton of school. I have lost count of all of the snow days they've had, not to mention the early dismissals and late openings. They have a lot of days to make up. Our last storm, just a few days ago, dumped a foot of snow on us and resulted in two days off from school. Even my 7 year old son rolled his eyes at the forecast, stating that he is sick and tired of snow days. You know it's bad when the kids are complaining. There are only so many crafts, baking activities, and snowman building outings that you can do. Worse, this snow has resulted in about two months worth of rent lost in income. That is bad for a family like mine. While I respect the forces of nature, I'm also ready to get this frozen shit show on the road and get on with some Spring...at which point I'll be hiding under my bed because of thunderstorms.

My kids have gone out and built so many snowmen and little igloos. We've sledded down the hill hundreds of times. We've thrown snowballs. We've run inside for hot chocolate and tea to warm up our frozen fingers. With the first few snowfalls, you bundle up merrily and run outside with your kids, snapping a billion pictures of every sled trip down the hill and every stage of building a snowman. By the 17th snow storm, complete with 18 inches of snow and ice layered on the ground, you drag yourself out in your pajama pants and boots, and tell your husband to grab a pic from the window with his phone. Snow is so love/hate for me. It's pretty to look at. I love the fact that my kids have such a blast in it. I'm just over it this year. I also believe that I suffer from SAD - Seasonal Affective Disorder. I have noticed it for the past few Winters. My mood and my energy level can get quite low during the Winter. I need sun. I am solar powered. Even on the coldest day, if that sunshine comes out, I'm running outside of my front door and spinning around in those golden rays of warmth - until I realize I'm only wearing a sports bra and my yoga pants with the hole in the crotch and that my nipples are indeed frozen solid.

I want to tell you that I spend every snow day curled up with a cozy blanket by the fire, book in one hand and piping hot cup of coffee in the other, warm fuzzy socks peeking out from under the blanket, and a cat on my lap. Such an Instagram moment. I want to tell you that my kids and I spend hours on those days creating all different kinds of crafts out of ecru cardstock, neon sharpies, and organic rose petals, while the aroma of various baked goods filled our home with warmth and sugary love. It's just not the reality. We've got cabin fever, yo, and we all out for blood.

Sure, we've done some crafts. I've got plenty of $1.00 sticky foam craft packs from A.C. Moore to entertain two kids for at least 6 minutes. My son is super artistic and can spend hours at a time working on a drawing or creating something out of things he found in the recycling bin. However, there is a two year old involved and, though she fancies herself an artist, crayons, paper, and stickers will only hold her attention for so long before someone melts down. While I have picked up a book this season, I only read for 5 minute spurts before someone is screaming, "mmmmaaaaaaaaaammmmmaaaaaaaa!!!!" or my two year old  runs in without her pants to inform me that her poop missed the bowl and she stepped in it. We've definitely baked a bit this Winter, so I guess that gets me a nod from Pinterest.

I won't lie - my kids have watched more T.V. than any self-respecting member of Mothering would approve of. I could probably act out quite a few episodes of Curious George or Barney in my sleep. And I sit there, feeling guilty, because nothing that we are doing would be worthy of a white-washed and over saturated Instagram photo or a Pin to someone's "Comfy, Cozy, Family Snow Day" board. I worry that I'm not doing enough for my kids while they're stuck home for another snow day. We're not doing enough crafts. We're not baking enough muffins. I'm not making enough soup in my crock pot (because I don't own one). My house isn't as clean as everyone says it should be when you're spending so much time indoors. In fact, it's trashed....because my kids are wild savages. The guilt seeps in. Dear God, I'm not a good enough mom because I didn't do an ice particle home study with my kids and we didn't create snowman crafts out of organic cotton balls picked by sparkle fairies. Fuck that shit. My cure for mom guilt - getting the hell outside, getting into nature, even if it's a vast gloomy frozen fuckhole at the moment.

Being outside always heals me. To be completely cliché, nature is my Church. I find so much spiritual fulfillment outside in nature. Even in the Winter, when everything is frozen over, half-dead, and gray, I still find beauty. There are birds and other critters who only visit in Winter. Some are here year round, but are more active in the Winter. Winter brings owl humping season, and we occasionally hear the love calls of Great Horned owls. The foxes around here are very active in Winter and their ...ummm.... unique calls are frequent this time of year. Getting outdoors allows me to calm my brain a little bit, focus on simple things such as the color of the sky, clouds, little signs of Spring in the scenery around me. It just helps to ground me.

This Winter, when I have those crappy guilt feelings and I'm out of craft ideas and tolerance for Barney tunes, I grab the winter coats, hats, scarves, gloves, and boots and pack the kids up in the car and drive to one of our favorite parks. We're typically among very few at the park during this time of year, especially when there in snow on the ground. We walk on some paved trails, which are never plowed or shoveled after snow, and then we veer off onto the regular dirt trails. My kids love being out there. They love he change of snow scenery. Instead of snowmen, forts, snowballs and all of the things you do when playing in your yard, they just walk through the snow, taking in all the sites, noticing how the snow changes the landscape and the shape of trees and bushes. They are fascinated by frozen streams, ponds, and lakes. A bonus with snow is animal tracks - it's so much easier to see them, even on a frozen lake. They enjoy trying to figure out which critter made which tracks. I make it a learning experience, but not forcefully so. I let them wander and walk ahead of me (always safely in sight), exploring, and I occasionally remark about something - a sign of spring, a bird we only see in Winter (Junco), vegetation that stays green all year, different berries, etc. They learn, but with ease and without pressure. The wintertime scene in the woods is different than Summer - obviously - as it's quieter, sometimes more serene, not as full of people. You can listen to the sounds of the various birds, or of water cracking the icy surface of a stream, without trying to filter through tons of human voices. It's nice. Peaceful.

So even though it's the same frozen white shit that we have at home, my kids get a change of scenery, I get to refresh myself and clear my brain, and we all get some exercise. Bonus, the 2 year old usually passes out for a good nap on the car ride home.

Outside: You should go there.

Copyright 2014 JSH I will cut you

Pulling My Teeth

I  have the suckiest bathroom lighting

At some point last year, I said I was going to start oil pulling. What is oil pulling? It's a method of swishing oil around in your mouth each day in order to promote oral health. Here is a much better explanation. Oil pulling comes with many claims - it will cure every thing from Alzheimer's to Cancer to Masturbation to Zinc Deficiency. Or something. If you google it, you'll see oil pulling listed as a cure for nearly every disease and disorder you can think of. I, however, do not buy into most of it at this time. I do believe it can have a good effect on your oral health, which is why I'm giving it a go. I know that oral health can affect your overall body heart, especially your heart and kidneys.....I'm just not down with the claims that it cures 948459478574 ailments.

 I was drawn to the claims in regards to oral health. I have suffered from gum disease and shitty teeth since I was a child. There have only been a few occasions in my life where I have gone to the dentist and have been told I was free of cavities. A typical visit yields at least a few cavities. My gums are always unhappy. I hate smiling because my teeth are ugly. They have permanent discoloration thanks to both tetracycline and braces. I'm good about taking care of my teeth. I brush 2 to 3 times daily. I floss one to two times a day. My diet isn't total crap. I do drink coffee, but it's coffee or heart meds (seriously - it keeps me from bottoming out and passing out - ask my cardiologist). My teeth are so shitty that I currently have cavities, but my dentist (God, I miss my old dentist) told me she will not fill them unless I have some scary deep, deep cleaning first. My insurance will not cover that. Guess what else my insurance doesn't cover? Other dentists. I have poor people insurance and, while it's been a lifesaver, the dental coverage suuuuuuccccckkkss. So, I'm down for oil pulling if there is a chance it could help my teeth.

There are also many suggestions for how to do this. The length of time to do it, whether or not to brush your teeth afterwards, the type of oil to use.....it all varies. I'm choosing coconut oil. That is what I have and what doesn't gag me. The typical suggested time is 20 to 25 minutes. I use a teaspoon, not a tablespoon.

What do you do? You put a spoonful of coconut oil in your mouth, swish it around like mouthwash, making sure to push it through your teeth. Do this for 25 minutes. Now, coconut oil is solid when the ambient temperature is under 74 degrees Fahrenheit, give or take a couple. Some people can take a spoonful of solid coconut oil into their mouth and let it sit there and melt. I tried that once, I gagged. It wasn't pretty. I need it in liquid form. In the cooler months, I melt it over the stove. Since I do this in the morning, I hold it over the stove when cooking eggs or bacon. It melts pretty quick. If you do this be sure to transfer it to a cooler spoon!! Do not be like me - I heated the coconut oil over the stove (P.S. - the first time my husband saw me doing this, he asked if I had started a heroin habit since that's sorta what it looks like) and then put that spoon directly into my mouth. Ouchmotherfuckthathurtssobad. Don't do it. When you're finished, spit it into a trashcan. Don't swallow. Don't spit it in the sink - it's no good for your pipes.

There's some question out there as to whether it is entirely safe for pregnant women and breastfeeding women. I probably wouldn't do it while pregnant and I'm barely nursing anymore. There's also a bit of debate about using it when you have fillings in your mouth. The argument is the oil pulling will either damage fillings - I remain unconvinced here - or it'll leach toxins out of your fillings into your mouth and you'll fucking turn into mercury itself. I remain convinced on this point as well. Besides, my fillings are there in my mouth all day, everyday, with a direct access to my bloodstream (live teeth! gums!). I'm pretty much fucked as it is.

As I said, there is plenty to be found on oil pulling and this isn't really a how-to. I suck at how-to stuff. I'm writing this because I tried oil pulling at the beginning of last Summer. I didn't last very long because I ran low on coconut oil and being extremely poor, I just plain couldn't afford to buy some more. I needed to save what was left for cooking. Thankfully, a friend generously sent me some coconut oil last month and I can set some aside for skin health and oil pulling.

I'm going to do it every day for one month to see if there is any notable difference. My regimen is easy - 1 teaspoon of oil once a day in the morning. Swish for 25 minutes. Spit into the trash. Rinse and spit. Brush teeth. Smile.

I'll let you know the results in 30 days. :)

*Disclaimer - the above link for coconut oil leads you to my affiliate link to Mountain Rose Herbs. If that makes you uncomfortable, but you want to check out MRH, just head to Mountainroseherbs.com.
*P.S. I giggled every time I typed "oral." Because I'm immature.

Photos in Five Minutes - Boobies Included

Requested tree hug

Last year, I would occasionally ask folks on my Facebook page to give me ideas for pictures to post on the blog. I give them five minutes to chime in and then photograph the things that were suggested. I haven't done it in a while and I completely forget that blogger can be a bit of a dick about uploading lots of photos. In any case, here are today's requested photos. This is excited stuff folks, there's pussy, booby and even refrigerator photos. That gets people hot. Yes, I know everything in my kitchen needs to be cleaned. It's been so humid that I melt when I move, so cleaning has been on the back burner lately.

My super smart and loverly friend, Crazy Dumbsaint of the Mind, requested a photo of me hugging a tree. I'm not sure if this qualifies as a tree or a bush, but it still needed a big ol' hug.

Stacey asked me to photograph my kitchen window. Alas, I do not have a kitchen window. I would really like one. I have this weird fantasy where I have a kitchen window, right by my sink. Perhaps, it's not a weird fantasy. I personally feel that having a window by the sink would make me much more likely to do dishes in a timely manner. Since I don't have a real window, I decided to add one in using my mad ass Paint skillz. It's hard to see here, but there is an apple tree, some happy little clouds, the sun, a bushy-tailed dog, poppies and som turkey vultures. That shit is copyrighted, yo. Don't even try to steal my artwork.

Liberty Ann requested "boobies." She did not specify which type of boobies. I brought up these images on the Google. This is a delightful little bird known as the Blue-Footed Booby. 












Lindsay wanted to see my toaster and Amanda requested my microwave. I don't use either very much. They sit side by side on my crowded counter. Yes, they need to be wiped down.

Yes, those are produce stickers on the door of the microwave. My son loves to stick those in random places in the house.















Next up is a request by Thomas. He wanted a tree and a flower. He didn't specify if they needed to be real, so he gets the tree-shaped toothbrush holder and the flower in my hair. 

The monkey tree toothbrush holder is from Target. I balance out my betrayal of the planet for buying China-made goods by using Preserve toothbrushes, which are made out of recycled yogurt cups. Of course, I gag whenever I remember they are made from yogurt cups since I think yogurt tastes funny. 

I personally think everyone should wear flowers in their hair now and then. I do. Someone from my belly dance studio made awesome flower hair picks. I love them - it brightens my day and attracts the occasional bee.

Pussy shot! This is my cat, Gawain. Chandi wanted to see a kitty pic. Gawain is 9 years old and I have had him since he was about 12 weeks old. He found me at my old job when I was working with one of the horses in the barn. Apparently, one of our clients tried to give him to the clinic. When the receptionist told him they were unable to take any animals in for adoption at the time, the person left with the kitten and threw him out into the parking lot. He wandered around, found me, and began rubbing up against my leg and purring his poor little heart out. I had just taken in a baby kitty, Duncan, 12 weeks earlier and swore up and down that we were going to be a one cat household. Ha! Gawain here is one of 5 (6 total if you count my little Abigael in Heaven). I put him in a cage in the kennel and labelled it, "Gawain," after one of the Knights of the Round Table. I couldn't take another cat and the clinic decided that they would keep him an find him a home. The next day, I found that the kennel attendants didn't like the name I chose and changed it to "Poopy." Yes, Poopy. At that moment, I decided he was mine. No one was naming him Poopy. I'm a sucker.

April wanted to see my favorite blanket. Donni Lee wanted to see my favorite books and DVDs. It's hard to choose those. Also, my kids were watching, so I couldn't go near the DVDs because then they would start screaming to watch something and the toddler would insist on pulling out every single DVD and stepping on them. I managed to steal one, mainly because I found it hiding under the couch. I swiped it when the kids weren't looking. Labyrinth is the movie. It's my favorite. I saw it in the theater back in 1986 when I was 7 years old. That was my introduction to David Bowie, one of the biggest influences in my life over the last 27 years. Love him. Love him. Love him. The books are; Earth Prayers, The Birth House, and The Red Tent. I really can't choose favorite books and, to be honest, I chose these because they were my favorite books on the top shelf of my bookshelf. Frankenstein is one of my all time favorites, but I don't actually have a copy at the moment.
The blanket was made for my son by my mom. It's a bunch of really bright robots. We all know I love bright colors. 



Speaking of bookshelves, Lady and Hoots wanted to see mine.

This is a cheap ass number from Wal-Mart. I had to build it myself. Surprisingly, it was USA made. It's actually held up well for 5 years. It houses my books. Not my kids books...mine! There are novels, veterinary texts, pregnancy books, poetry anthologies (belonging to my husband), various human medicine texts, mythology books, an art history textbook, journals, earth-friendly books, religion stuff, biographies, home how-tos, breastfeeding texts and books and more. There's even a book about Storm Chasing (Into the Storm by Reed Timmer). I read a lot of both fiction and non-fiction.

Sarah wanted to see my dishwasher detergent or the ingredients that I use to make it. I don't make my own. I haven't tried that or making my own laundry detergent yet. I see so many mixed reviews on both and I just haven't made the leap. I normally use Ecover. I used to use Planet until it became hard to find in local stores. I also like Sun and Earth, a local company, but it's hard for me to find close by and the cost isn't always okay with me. I usually get Ecover on sale. I have also used Seventh Generation and would get it via Amazon Subscribe and Save, but they have super raised the price lately and the company isn't my favorite. They're big on greenwashing.


I do dishes by hand, not the dishwasher. Ours is old and gross.







Brave is the person who ventures inside my fridge, which is what Chelsea and Humble Spoon wanted to do. It's not that bad, really, just rather empty. We've got lots of eggs, yogurt (not mine!), cottage cheese, plenty of local milk, not-so-local cheddar, a bit of fruit (unseen - it was on the counter), water, maple syrup, juices (yes, even *gasp* non-organic orange juice. Yes, I know about the flavor packs they use and how it will cause me to grow breasts inside my mouth), and some lonely little celery stalks destined for the stock pot. I don't know why I'm listing everything - just saving you from squinting.

Even more brave is the person who wants to see my kitchen sink, as requested by Jennifer.














Michelle wanted to see a random dog, but I couldn't find one, so here is a picture of my dog, McKenna. She passed away almost exactly 5 years ago after a 19 month battle with bone cancer and an amputation of her leg. She kicked that cancer's ass for quite a while.

Thomas wanted to see a random animal. This little dude is an alpaca made of alpaca wool. You can also see a goofy little turtle along with the Goddess doll lovingly made for me by Joni Rae of Tales of A Kitchen Witch fame.













Trista wanted to see my favorite plant, which I absolutely cannot choose. This is yellow loosestrife. It's considered an invasive weed in some locations, but it never spreads in my garden and doesn't bother anyone here. The bees love it. I love it. It stays.

Ashley asked for a picture of something yummy that I grew myself that most people don't. Well, I can't grow food here because the apartment complex sprays pesticide like it's water. This is all I have in my house that I grew myself - my dehydrated and ground up placenta. I only make a few capsules at a time. Because I'm lazy.












Last, but not least, Dixie wants to see my favorite spot to sit and take a breath of fresh air. Since I was stuck at home today, I chose to photograph that location here. I normally like to go to a park or the beach for some nice air. This is just my crappy little Ikea chair on my front "porch."This is where I sit and read or yell at my children while they play.

Holy crap. We made it through all eleventy billion pictures. I am sorry for those who are still using dial up. All photos are copyright ME, so don't steal them or I will do something drastic, like call you and sing or leave buttcrack sweat on your favorite chair. I know they're awesome, but their mine. All mine. They were taken with my Droid because I couldn't find my camera. It was where I left it, which is the last place I thought to look - in my camera bag.

Hope you enjoyed my dirty kitchen, my flowers, my placenta, and the pussy.

Nursing in Public: It doesn't Always Make the News

In our little online world, we often hear about nursing in public in two ways: 1.) How to do it without a wardrobe malfunction and 2.) stories of harassment for doing it. There's plenty to say about nursing bras, nursing tops, altering your wardrobe so you don't have to buy specialty stuff. And there is more than plenty to say about women being harassed in public. It happens nearly everyday. It can be a small moment where a passerby makes a rude remark and keeps on walking. It can be the ignorant comments often found on blogs and articles about breastfeeding - "I totally support nursing, but women need to be discreet about it." It could be something much bigger, such as an actual business telling a mother that she is not allowed to breastfeed in public within their walls. You literally cannot throw a nursing pad without hitting a story about a mother who has been harassed in some way shape or form. I have addressed the issue of the rights of mothers to nurse their babies in public without harassment several times myself.

However, there is something we hear about far less - something that doesn't get a lot of attention. Happy experiences. Yeah yeah, some times a blogger, myself included, will ask women to share their happy nursing in public experiences on their page. It does happen, but not as often as I would like.

I just want to simply tell mothers that many women have nursed in public without a single dirty look or rude comment. It's not always a horror fest of ignorant comments. You are not always on the defensive. I am one of those mothers. I nursed my son for 3 years. I nursed him in public whenever he had the need. I have been nursing my daughter for 18 months now and she shows no signs of slowing down. She, too, has been nursed in public whenever the need arises. I have nearly 5 years of combined nursing in public experience and I have not had one single bad comment. I have never been asked to cover up, to move, to leave. My first time nursing in public was when my son was 4 days old. He began to scream and turn bright red with his furious hunger in the waiting room of the pediatrician's office. Being a new mom, I was a little nervous and wasn't as graceful with manipulating my clothing, my bra, my baby, his blanket. I remember trying to cover him just for a few moments as he latched on. That did not go over well. People looked at me, but more because my son was obviously screaming from hunger and not because they were shocked to see a woman nurse in public. And that was the last time I felt nervous.

I have had the opposite of negative attention. I have gotten compliments and smiles. I have had strangers walk by and say, "I miss feeding my babies," or "That is just the best thing in the world." Not too long ago, I stood in line in Toys 'r' Us and the cashier and two customers noticed me standing there nursing Squishy. The cashier smiled at her. One of the customers commented that it was just so nice to not have to carry bottles and bags and just feed whenever and wherever. The other customer and cashier agreed. And then they gushed over the infant nursing on my breast.

Those moments happen, too.

For what's it's worth, I have nursed in some of the big offenders when it comes to businesses harassing mothers. I have nursed in every aisle and department of Target. I nursed at Applebees. I have nursed at the YMCA. I'm out and about everyday and I have a long list of places where I have nursed easily without issues.

We don't see news articles proclaiming, "Mother nurses baby in public, while shopping in the shoe department of Sears. Several customers notice and smile and carry on with their shopping."  It's not because it's a rare occurrence, but it's because positivity doesn't always sell. You don't always hear about the woman in the coffee shop, who is told to please make herself comfortable while they get her order and they'll bring her coffee to her while she is nursing. You don't always hear about the waiter who brings an extra glass of water for the mom nursing at one of his tables because he has heard that nursing moms need to drink more. We don't always notice the nice old ladies with blue hair who walk by with a smile and a happy sigh while your nursing your baby and pushing your shopping cart at the grocery store. The grocery clerk who goes out of his way to help you carry your bags out to the car so you can keep nursing without carrying extra stuff never makes the headlines. These people exist.

There is no denying that we still have work to do when it comes to educating the public about breastfeeding and help others to understand that nursing in public is a right and there is nothing wrong with it. We're working on it. Change for the better will happen.

I just wanted to take this small moment to reassure new mamas who may be scared of nursing in public because they hear all of these stories about harassment. You don't have to go out there expecting that you'll need to defend yourself for feeding your baby everyday. I want you to know that there are so many times when it goes perfectly and the only attention you get is a smile or a mother of grown children reminiscing of when she nursed her babes on a bench at the mall. Remember, you are taking a stand even when you quietly nurse your baby at a table in the food court. Even if you don't get a smile or a comment, someone will notice. And that someone might be a mom-to-be who saw how comfortably you sat there while feeding your baby. She'll think to herself, "I can do that, too." There may be a young man who sees you and learns that boobs have several functions and it's fine for a woman to use them to feed her baby in public. You may get noticed by a younger girl, years away from having her own children, who doesn't even realize that she was exposed to a normal way of feeding babies. You made it look normal and natural and, while she may not realize it at the time, a little seed will be planted somewhere in the back of her brain, quietly waiting until the day she blooms with new life and realizes, "hey, I can do that, too." So rock on with your publicly nursing self!

Attachment Parenting Communities: In Need of Repair

When I first read Conscience Parenting's blog about being over the Attachment Parenting community, I was all, "YOU GO GIRL!" Then, I read some responses on various pages and in my groups and I felt a little ticked at the blog - like she was maybe throwing all of us AP folks under the bus with the loonies. I also read a wonderful counter by Evolutionary Parenting that I also agree with. Now, I am back my YOU GO GIRL response to the original piece.

I have read a lot of butthurt in the past 24 hours since I discovered the post. People are taking what she wrote very personally. In a way, I understand that. Most of us are very passionate about our parenting and it can be hard to read anything negative. However, she isn't attacking the philosophy of attachment parenting. She is not attacking those of us who practice this method yet are open and accepting of those who parent differently. She is speaking of a very real problem in the AP community. You will find extremism in every forum about every subject everywhere online. We focus on the AP issue here because this is something that's part of our lives. I think we have all seen it. Parents who attacks others who don't believe in the same philosophy. Lactivists who bash the hell out of formula feeders. Intactivists who think ANYONE who circumcises their child - despite the fact that they didn't even have the proper information - should have their children taken away. Babywearers who think even a minute in the stroller will turn your child into an unattached zombie. Co-sleepers who think the mere thought of placing a baby in a crib for a few hours will cause low SAT scores. Cloth diaper fanatics who think even one disposable diaper automatically sets your kid up for ass cancer. Gentle discipliners who think the slightest raise of your voice will turn your child into a sociopath. We've seen it. We know it's out there. It's happened in the comments on most pages. It's happened on this page. It's happened to me. I was bashed on a local AP group for stating that I would use a stroller from time to time on really long walks. Bashed. As if that one act would undo every other AP moment. We know this contingent exists and we know they give us all a bad name. We know they are the reason we are viewed as crazy.

I agree that there is a level of fanaticism on some pages. The worship of certain bloggers does exist. And there are most definitely bloggers who seem to require that you agree lockstep with everything they say and any voice of dissent will be banished. That's real. Hey, it's their page so they are free to accept who they wish and preach what they wish, but that doesn't mean they speak for all of us and we know that those voices sometimes give us a bad name.

I have been called a troll. Your very own beloved Funky Little EarthChild has been called a troll. I have had the terrible audacity to suggest that I do not agree with every nurse-in that has been held. I was told point blank that I moved the whole women's movement back on that one and somehow my thoughts were equal to hating the Civil Rights movement. I have the ridiculous notion that bashing formula feeders and calling them lazy bad mothers won't win hearts and that breastfeeding advocates would do better to treat them kindly.I obviously hate breastfeeding because I suggested that you can be a good breastfeeding advocate even if you don't march, don't nurse-in, don't post photos and don't speak the loudest. And let's not even mention the shitstorm I once provoked by stating that unassisted birth isn't for everyone. That's a real pearl clutcher right there. All of those things have earned me a troll title at some point or another. There are some big time bloggers - including ones that you all love (and that's okay) - who have privately shit talked me - ME - to the extreme. This is just another extension of the high school mean girl club and I totally understand why someone like Conscience Parenting is disillusioned by it all.

As I said, there has been a bit of butthurt and misunderstanding of the intent of Conscience Parenting's original post. Don't worry - I went there, too, for a few moments last night after I read it. She is not saying that Attachment Parenting is bad. She is not trying to start a war between any groups. And there is no "page war" between Conscience Parenting and Evolutionary Parenting. She is trying to shed the light on a very real problem in this community. This is a wonderful method of parenting. It's the way it should be. However, there are some nasty extremists with some very loud voices who bring negative attention and so we all get stuck under the same "they're crazy judgmental nazis" umbrella. Many have been judged and hurt for not being 100% AP and not doing things "the right way." Some people can let that roll off their back. Others are more affected and may feel isolated by those they originally trusted. This is the crap that people see. It's the stuff that gets the most attention. Is that wrong? Yes! But that's the way it is and it's what pushes many away from attachment parenting.

This is the part where I go on a different path than Conscience Parenting. She is doing what works best for her and her family. If she does not want to fully associate herself with this community, then she should not be forced to do so. She should not be criticized for doing something that she feels is the best for her. Obviously, the fighting and the judging affects her spirit in a negative way and she wants to distance herself from that. I respect and honor that. She's not giving up this type of parenting for her family, she's taking a step back from some of the extremism. She knew this would cause a virtual poo-storm and that she'd be criticized for it, but she spoke up anyway. That's important and admirable. And while I have had similar misgivings about the attachment community - and I don't even label myself an Attachment Parent because this is simply the way I was raised and it felt normal for me - I have decided to be one of the voices that will speak loud enough with my words and actions to drown out the crazies. Judging a mama for formula feeding? Bashing someone for using Huggies? Giving the evil eye to an exhausted mother who raised her voice? I'll let people know that we're not all like you. I want to see more babies with attached parents. I want to see more breastfeeding. More cloth diapering. I want more gentle discipline. I want genital integrity for all babies. I want to see an end to Crying It Out. I want to see more baby wearing. I just won't shame others while I spread my message. I won't tell people they are bad parents because they are not like me. I won't call them lazy. We're all welcome to express our opinions, but if you try to use words or actions to hurt other parents and to shame them into becoming a super attachment parent just like you, I'll probably lose a little respect for you.  Oh, yes, I know us attachment parents have been judged. We know what it's like to have to defend our choices on a daily basis. And that's no reason to do it to others. Isn't that what we teach our children?

The truth is that many of us who fall under the attachment parenting category want to see a better world for our children. We want children to be loved and respected. We come from a place of very good intentions. Some of us are louder than others. Some of us have made mistakes in our journey. There are some who give us a bad name for various reasons, but the majority of us are good and welcoming. We need to realize that we are a good group of people, but there are kinks in our armor that need to be fixed. That's not a bad thing. Knowing there are some problems gives us a chance to look within, make the necessary repairs and march on - shining even brighter.